Shock horror! Two British Members of Parliament detained at Ben Gurion Airport? Stop the presses! Sound the alarm! Fly the flags at half-mast for this grave injustice! Never mind the Palestinians blown to pieces in the West Bank or the children whose bodies no longer register on any biometric passport system—this, THIS is the true scandal.
David Lammy, with all the gravitas of a man who’s spent five months calling for a “ceasefire” that seems to translate to “a short break for Israel to reload,” has now found his moral compass. Not for the tens of thousands of dead civilians, not for Gaza reduced to gravel, not for the children who have nightmares but no beds—no, the red line was two MPs with boarding passes being turned away.
“My counterparts in Israel have been informed,” he says sternly as if Bibi and co. are trembling at the idea that Britain might… send another strongly worded tweet.
Meanwhile, Kemi Badenoch channels her inner fortress logic: “Every country has a right to control its borders,” she declares, nodding solemnly as those very borders bulldoze refugee camps. Her logic, like British foreign policy, is clear: dead kids are a tragedy, but detained MPs? A diplomatic earthquake.
And let’s not forget the solemn declarations about a ceasefire. A “ceasefire” that buys just enough time to “surgically strike” more hospitals. A “ceasefire” long enough to top up weapons and rehearse lines for the next UN vote abstention. It’s the humanitarian equivalent of giving someone an umbrella in a hurricane and blaming them for getting wet.
But whatever you do, don’t you dare mention Palestine’s liberation—especially not by the armed forces of the Muslim world. That is the red line. Not the bombing of bakeries, not white phosphorus over schools—no, a Muslim voice raised for dignity? That’s when British ministers rise from their diplomatic slumber to condemn “incendiary language” and remind everyone that violence is never the answer—unless it’s F-16s doing the talking.
So here we are. Two MPs blocked from seeing the ruins. The UK government fuming—not at the destruction of a people, but at the PR blunder of being disrespected by their close ally mid-massacre.
Because in the end, it’s not the lives of children that shake the empire’s conscience.
It’s their own egos. Their own “dignity.” Their own.
Palestinian lives? They’re just another “unfortunate statistic.”
But stop an MP at the airport? That’s when the Empire remembers it has a voice.
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